More Social Security News....

So I talked with my SSD claims representative today (David Smith 1.252.975.0170 ext. 110). He informed me that the wait for my back pay and my reinstatement of benefits could be 90 days. First it was three days, then 30 days, then 60 days, Now it is 90 DAYS! I had to put my life on hold for over 15 months now with no clear relief in sight. As a Brain Cancer Survivor, Hell..even as a normal person, I knew that everyday was a gift because tomorrow is not promised. I use to tell friends that "I had a date with a bus." But now...I just don't know if I can take this waiting....there is SO much that I want to do with my wife and daughter and I can't because the Government choose not to see the obvious. I'M FUCKING DISABLED!! I MAY HAVE ANOTHER 10 YEARS LEFT IN MY LIFE IF I'M LUCKY! I DO NOT WANT TO BE WASTING IT ON THIS STUPID BULLSHIT! What do you expect from a Government who invaded a foreign country with no military or ethical Intel? Who thought it was a good idea to invent 700 billion to give to their already obscenely rich cronies, while the common man suffers. It's war on the middle class, the Government does not want us alive.....

Another Crazy Idea......

Unveiling the Lies

MICHAEL MOORE: You Pathitic Fuck....

So with all the horror and struggle that my wife, daughter, and I have had to endure in the last 13 months, I figured it would make a good documentary. Well I had this idea to contact Michael Moore, so I tried to e-mail him, mail box was full. I proceeded to send him a letter...it went a little something like this...hit it...

Dear Mr. Moore
I know you are a very busy person so I will make my trepidations short and sweet. This letter is about how this country desperately needs Social Security reform. I’m a Brain Cancer survivor (Adult Medulloblastoma), a rare form of Brain Cancer that occurs in under 4/1,000,000,000% of the American population. It has left my right side with no motor skills, loss of balance, severe joint pain, double vision, and the list goes on. However, against the advice of 10 doctors that said I couldn’t work, I was told by Social Insecurity (as I like to call them) that I could work. They stated in the letter I received “We realize that your condition keeps you from doing any of your past jobs, but it does not keep you from doing less demanding work. Based on your age, education, and past experience, you can do other work”, i.e. bag groceries or flip burgers, both I have tried and failed miserably at. All jobs that are unable to support my wife, and my two-year-old daughter. How could our Government do this to one of it’s US citizens?

Sincerely,
Ned Brown

I wrote six separate letters to six separate addresses(two of them to Beverly Hills). All six of them were returned unopened. Now, I'm no fan of Michael Moore's films, but I thought if my story, and the millions of American Citizens that are going through this, was told, maybe, just maybe the American public would wake up and be infuriated. People are losing their Savings, Houses, Credit, and unfortunately their lives because the President and Congress can not agree to hire more Federal judges to handle the over burdened SS Appeals process. If you are under the age of 40, quit your job. You are paying Social Security taxes that you will not receive when you turn 65. Social Security went bankrupt in the fall of 2000 and is just borrowing money from the Federal Reserve (Private Bank, not affiliated with the US Government) to pay benefits. The Federal Reserve has recently bought out Fanny/Freddy, AIG, and countless others in the last months, and that has seemed to go well for the American Taxpayer........Wait for it......

Preach on Ron, preach on!!

Now this is the SNL We Love...

One Battle Won...now on with the war.

I received a letter this morning from The Social Security Administration . The letter I have been waiting for. I read the first line while my wife gasped and cried.

"After carefully reviewing all the information on your claim, we have made a disability decision. We find that your disability did not end. Therefore, your benefits will continue."

Fran danced around in joy and then looked at me and said, "Why aren't you smiling?" "Honey we have merely won a battle, there is still a war to be fought." A war against the Social Security Administration. A war to receive my back pay from benefits that were denied me 13 months ago. A war to have my Medicare reinstated to help pay for the mountain of hospital bills that I can't pay. A fight to have my credit restored, which is in the fucking toilet because of them. Tangent: How can a fucking made up number tell people what kind of a person I am, it's complete BULLSHIT. The multitude of problems that they have caused to both mine, Frances, and Stella's life. Are they going to back pay for pain and suffering that they have caused. The fact for the last 13 months, I have had my manhood taken from me leaving me with the feeling that I cannot provide for my family. Are they going to pay me for the phychotic episodes that I've had. Like I said, one battle has been won, but it has been an important battle. Now it is time for me to arise from the ashes they have caused and win this fucking war!!!!!

Which brand of dog food do you prefer?

So I was checking my account at the electronic high school reunion known to the common man as Facebook, when this survey was thrust upon me as a means to gain advertising revenue.

Which brand of dog food do you prefer?

* Iams * Alpo * Purina * Pedigree



I thought, "How Absurd, I've never, ever ate dog food in my life!?!?" My older sister feed me a box of Milkbones when I was 5, but never dog food. Do you think the advertisers meant to say "Which brand of dog food does YOUR DOG prefer? My black Labrador , Zoe, personally prefers Purina Beneful Playfull Life, but I remain undecided.

Real Change.....

EVERY BODY NEEDS TO STOP PUTTING LABELS ON PEOPLE!!
The whole debate on whether your a Democrat/Republican/Liberal/Conservative/Spaceman is fucking RETARDED!! I'm a human being, you can't put a label on me, you can't put me in a nice little box. I think Dennis Kuchich said it best when he told America to "Wake Up", I think that's what he meant. That we need to put aside our petty bickering and fix what is wrong with this nation. Inexperience doesn't mean you will be bad at your job. I'm sure when you started your job, you were inexperienced too. Obama,McCain, Biden, Clinton, Palin......whoever, it was decided after World War II who was going to run this country, and it isn't the President. Everybody thinks it is, according to the media whose job it is to subdue us but it's not. We need to put our foot down as Americans and come together as Americans, and "Wake Up!!!" We need to take the power of the US away from big oil, away from big corporations, away from monopolized health care systems, away from Pharmaceutical companies. These are who are running our nation, not whoever you vote for in November, they are simply "Yes Men/Women".

WAKE UP AMERICA,
BEFORE WE LOSE IT ALL!

Ladies and Gentlemen...The Word According To KILIAN!!!!

LINCOLN, YOUR COUNTRY MISSES YOU......

August 28th Al Gore directly likened Barack Obama to the great US leader Abraham Lincoln, then 5 days later, Abraham Lincoln (confirmed impostor**) had been seen at the Republican National Convention as they gave tribute to Abe.

So, which is it? , who side is Lincoln on?,WWLD , ( what would Lincoln do?), - I believe the answer is clear, Lincoln would be on everyone's side however, it is more important to know who is on Lincoln's side " Lets look at the vice president nominees to see who is with Lincoln,

When Biden took the nomination podium, the first words from his mouth were: "President Lincoln once instructed us to be sure to put your feet in the right place and then stand firm," - can't get much better then that, can you?

Palin had not implored the words of Lincoln at all,
... but she does make you think...
Like Abe Lincoln, Palin is from the backwoods, growing up surrounded by woods.
He was a lumberjack, Palin worked as a fisher-woman.
Lincoln was considered very much an outsider to Washington. Palin is an Washington outsider,
Both, not a smooth politician and Palin has already shown excellent political skills much better than many anticipated. In a similar way Lincoln surpassed many people's expectations.,
and for the mystic's, Sarah's birthday Feb 11...... Lincoln, Feb 12th.


So WWLD? - It would probably be best to ask him....., not a impostor...
Back In a time when folks looked for a divine endorsement, Lincoln left his audience with this:

“Sir, my concern is not whether God is on our side; my greatest concern is to be on God's side, for God is always right”

- so, in this democratic republic it is left for us to decide, one thing is clear, we all miss the days of great leader Lincoln.

Daily Show Love

Actions Always Speak Louder Than Words

Want an unbiased look at the candidates? I recently found this great website called Project Vote Smart. "On common ground at a unique research center high in the Montana Rockies, a struggling group of Americans, who you are unlikely to know and will probably never meet, have begun a battle. A battle to protect all of us from the selfish interests that strip us of the most crucial component in our struggle to self-govern -- access to abundant, accurate, and relevant information"

There are no articles, no rhetoric, no spin, just stone cold facts. Attendance and Voting Records for State level and US level representatives. Bill & Policy information. The list goes on and on. Best part about it. In just a few clicks you can find out 1st) WHO are your representatives. 2nd) WHAT & HOW do they vote. And 3rd) WHERE can you contact them. It's a glorious and refreshing website. Finally a place for those who just want the facts not opinions.

For a look at Obama's record Click Here . For McCain's Record click Here. And while the Lords of Karma won't officially back a particular candidate (due in most part to our disagreement as to who we each feel is the best candidate) we also highly recommend that you take a look at Congressman Ron Paul's record as well by clicking here .

Now one report I recently found I would really like to bring to your attention. I think most US citizens would assume that after selecting our elected officials (chosen to represent and defend our best interests by the way) we can then go about our days assuming that said elected official will I don't know actually show up to VOTE on issues that matter to them and shape the course of our country. You'd be surprised just how many don't bother... There is a wonderful list compiled at washingtonpost.com. On Congressional attendance records and oh my just look who's at the top...Missing OVER half his votes. I say that's just what we want in a president right???? Who can blame the guy after being there as long as he has... It's just so much work ya know to actually REPRESENT your constituents. Oh OH OHHH! And Let's not forget that the 36.2% of the time he's actually bothered to show up he's voted over 90% of the time in favor of W's bills and policies. Oh yeah that's some 5 Star Commander In Chief behavior.

In Mourning....

R.I.P. September 2, 2008

Jerry Reed

A piece of my childhood is gone.
This man was my hero and idol.
He will be sorely missed.
"East Bound and Down!!"

Waiting...

I recently remember a funny story that I had filed away in this half-assed file cabinet I call a brain. I had moved to Blacksburg, Va for awhile in the Winter of '04, mainly to get away. Since I went to Engineering School at VT, I was familiar with the area, but most of my classmates had graduated. The only person I knew there was my friend Rob, who had moved there a year earlier. Rob and I had been best buddies for awhile in Virginia Beach, we almost were inseparable. He was my hiking bud and we have logged a lot of miles together. When I had got there, Rob had just gone through a very messy divorce. I had been about a year out of my Brain Cancer. I think we were both broken men in our own ways.
Anyway, to the funny part. I was moving in with Rob in Blacksburg and had to meet him after work to get the key to his house. When I got there it was snowing like a bastard. The place Rob had chosen was a college bar that was having happy hour. Two dollar, forty ounce, cold Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, who could resist. We'll I had too, I had enough troubles trying to keep my balance and walk straight as it was. He was there with his friend Keith. I entered the pub, grabbed a barstool, tried to sit on it, misjudged and landed flat on my face. Great entrance huh....! After a little while chatting , Rob gave me the key and I was on my way. A few months later, after many cocktails, Keith divulged something to me. He said "When I first met you, I forgot about what Rob had told me about you and just thought that you were just wicked drunk already. I'm sorry." I told him don't be, I can do the "fall off things trick" at any time during the day, at several levels of sobriety. Ha...Ha...Ha. See I have to find things about my disabilities that I can play off or make a joke about. If not....well it wouldn't be a pretty picture.

I had my long awaited disability hearing 2 weeks ago. I have waited almost a year and THE SOCIAL SECURITY DISABILITIES DECISION COORDINATOR is suppose to mail me a decision this week. By the way her name is Peggy McDaid and her # is (919)-212-3222 EXT 4311, if any body feels like giving her a jingle. I am waiting on pins and needles, I'm anxious, I can't sleep, I can't eat, I'm irritable to Fran and Stella. The waiting is making me old.....the fucking waiting.....

P.S. I really don't like it when my in-laws have my daughter Stella for the night. The feed her the wrong foods(ding-dongs, ho- hos and ice cream) they know nothing about basic nutrition. Plus, when she comes back, she is very rude and we have to reprogram her to have manners. I guess it's a necessary evil. However, now I have to put my foot down.........

That's right people, A FUCKIN' BABY IN A JAR. My in-laws brought back my daughters baby doll in a jar! Even with the sick, warped sense of humor as I have ,I couldn't find that funny!!!!!

A "Green" Industrial Revolution?

The New Republic's Dayo Olopade recently posted a great article about Majora Carter and Her Sustanable South Bronx program. Majora is making great strides in creating "green jobs" inside the Bronx. Pushing to create a "new wave of environmentalism--especially among younger people--is tearing down former cultural barriers in pursuit of stronger families, good jobs, and a cleaner planet."

Ned & I both firmly agree that "Green Jobs" are the answer to our current Economic Crisis. Majora Carter's program is inspiring as I think it's much more important to bring "Green" resources to those just above and below the poverty line. That's were the great strides can be made. Teaching children the importance of environmental responsibility. The millions of jobs that can be created can turn this country around. Click Here to check out a great video on just how "Green Jobs" can revolutionize our country.

Solar Power, Wind Turbines, these should be made easily accessible (financially & physically) to the lower class. Environmental Trade Jobs are the wave of the future. The Industrial Revolution of the 18 and 1900's is what put our country on the map. It's what made us progressive and inspirational. It excites me to think that we are on the cusp of a Green Industrial Revolution. And we can again be a source of inspiration for the world but more importantly it can give us something to be proud of once again. It can be away that we finally begin to take care of each other. From Electricians, Installers, Plumbers, and Recycling Plants to City Planners, and Architects, the career possibilities are endless. What's important now is that we hit the ground running by bringing the training for these jobs to those that need them the most. The best part about it is the difficulty if not impossible to outsource "Green Jobs" what are these plants going to do ship New Jersey's recycling to Bangladesh for processing?

Two wonderful articles that remind me that as dark as the past eight years have been for America, the sun seems to be dawning on a spectacular day.

Movies that define us......

Sometimes people ask Fran and I if we have a "song" that defines our relationship. Since we are both music aficionados (and we're not being snobby about that) , between the 2 of us we know every musical group, band, and artist ever. So with our common and different taste in music we could NEVER pick a "song". We usually tell them that it is a movie, 50 First Dates staring Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore. It's a romatic comedy about a women who has had a brain injury and has lost her short term memory and how Adam Sandler's character deals with that. Everyday he makes her fall in love with him again. It's funny, it's witty, and it's sweet. We like it because it mirrors the fact that my short term memory sucks. I can't remember what I had for breakfast and that was an hour ago. Everyday Fran does something that reminds me why I'm with her and makes me fall in love with her all over again.


Now that is the sanitized story of our relationship. That is what we tell people at parties to make them feel good and not offend them. Truth be known, we are kinda perverted, twisted, morose, sarcastic people...the world is not ready for our style of truth and humor just yet. One thing that we can agree on is the rock band the Pixies and how much they were under appreciated and how much they just ROCKED!! That being said, the last two minutes of Fight Club sums up our relationship the best. We're both people with deep inner demons, we don't fit in with "society", Fran always wants to be "motherly" with me, and I really want to blow up the world!!!!!

Why We Fight

5 years ago Ned was diagnosed (self-diagnosed) with a Brain Tumor. Adult Medulloblastoma is described as "a highly malignant primary brain tumor that originates in the cerebellum or posterior fossa...Although it is thought that medulloblastomas originate from immature or embryonal cells at their earliest stage of development, the exact cell of origin, or "medulloblast" has yet to be identified" (source: Wikipedia.com)

Roughly 20% of worldwide Medulloblastoma cases are found in persons over the age of 15.
Ned symptoms included severe headaches and nausea. Visiting 3 different doctors in 2002 they told him it was psychosomatic, or GERD (Gastroesophageal reflux disease) to lay off the spicy food and quit smoking. Finally on St. Patrick's day 2003 after celebrating his nephew's birthday. And sick and tired of being sick and tired and having doctor after doctor dismiss his claims of a brain tumor. He checks into the emergency room and begs the attending to give him a CAT scan.

"you'll make a great clinician one day" March 23, 2003 Ned underwent a 5 hour surgery to remove a golf ball size tumor in the cerebellum of his brain. Had they waited a week or two longer it would have been inoperable. Leaving him with Severe speech, motor, and cognitive disabilities he was put through intense therapy. A few weeks later he was in the hospital again when 4 pulmonary embolisms were found in his lungs.

While he defied so many odds. The after effects of his cancer and subsequent treatment completely destroyed most of the life Ned led. A highly skilled master carpenter by trade, Avid hiker and outdoorsman, Ned was forced to turn his back on almost everything he loved and start life all over again. His battle has been long. Unbeatable he's defied so many odds and continues to do so.

Many things didn't change. A deep love for his country, The belief that each of us is responsible for the other. His many brushes with fate only proved to heighten his belief that life is so fleeting and it's imperative that we make the most of it. To leave each place we go better than when we arrived. The importance of going through each our days with our eyes wide open. And most importantly that we fight to the death for that in which we believe.

Left permanently disabled by the severe surgical trauma to his brain and cancer treatment. The first three years Ned was able to receive proper medical care thanks to disability benefits. One year ago we received a "Disability Review" a detailed and very confusing document. We filled it out to the best of our ability and to the best of Ned's frayed memory. A few weeks later we were asked to visit a battery of doctors by the Social Security Administration (SSA). About a month later we were told that he was deemed "Able to work". Despite the fact that every one of their doctors reported that he was in fact disabled. To add insult to injury they allowed just 10 days for Ned to contact the SSA office (whose location is more than 1 and half hours away) to request that his benefits be continued during the appeals process. It was discovered after 11 days that the contact number the SSA gave to Ned (to which he called multiple times daily) was incorrect. When calling the correct number he was told oh so subtly too bad, so sad.

We realize we are not the only ones. There are thousands of individuals out there who are dying, becoming homeless, essentially losing everything while waiting for an disability appeal. We fight for the common man & woman. We fight because it's unwanted...unexpected. And it's not just the fight for the Awareness of Cancer, It's not just the fight for disability access. It's the fight to turn this country around from a nation of "sheeple" to a nation that understands the each of us has a responsibility. Each of us is our brother or our sisters keeper. To pay attention. To get up from the dinner table when we hear about injustice and hit the street for change.

Test...test...test....

"Testicles, that is all......." - Peter Griffin